It's OK to act like a kid

Last night it snowed here in Wisconsin. This has been our first substantial snow of the season and my kids could not wait to get out and play in it. For the first month of winter we have not had decent sledding snow. The kids got the grand idea to take their sleds down our plastic slide. Luckily, I have not had to make any trips to the emergency room from resulting trips. 

So after my son got out of school I took them home, got them a good lunch, and packed up our gear. It's no easy task to find all the snow pants, boots, hats, gloves, and warm socks for everyone but we managed it. I honestly thought my son was going to fall asleep during the process but 40 minutes later we were in the minivan going to what I hoped would be a decent sledding hill. As we pulled up to the parkway I could see we were the only people there. I was worried that the hill would be too small or the snow would be worn off already from kids sledding earlier. To my pleasant surprise the conditions were perfect. 

When I approached the hill with them I thought about those roller coasters that when you reach the top, you can't see the track. As we got closer to the hill I could see the bottom but not how steep the first part of the hill was. With two kids on the younger side I didn't want to have any broken bones or lost teeth. However, the kids were both keen on going down (they have no fear). 

I had no idea how this was all going to work. Would they want me to go with them? Would I have to carry two kids back up this giant hill? Where was the chair lift?! How was I going to carry two kids and two sleds? I didn't bring any rope for this kind of work! I wore my snow pants and was prepared so that at least I wouldn't freeze while I stood there watching them have fun. Well today I was in luck, my three year old got to the bottom of the hill but could not carry her sled and walk. So I took our third sled and flew to the bottom to meet them. What a thrill! Not the kind of corkscrew roller coaster kind of thrill or even the great sex kind, but the thrill of feeling like a kid again. This was the thrill I get from feeling the chilly wind on my face and watching the smiles on the kids' faces as I came to play with them. 

Most days that's all my kids want- someone to play with them. Even though they play with each other and love to create and play pretend, sometimes they want a parent or adult to come join in the fun. Tonight my daughter asked me to play on the tablet with her. They just want to be near me. This is a lesson I have to remember as I'm busy making dinner, cleaning the house, or signing them up for lessons and activities.  Sometimes it is alright to stop cleaning, put down the vacuum, grab a sword, and pretend to be pirates. My kids won't remember how clean our house was or how I spent hours slaving away making dinner. What they will remember are the times we had fun playing and spending time together. 

When I think about my own childhood, I remember family road trips and vacations, nature walks, blanket forts, and trips to the farm. On days when I get the most stressed out I'm learning to stop and get my mind to think like a 5 year old. What do my kids really want and need at this time? What will they remember? What do I want them to remember? They want me to be with them, to sit and watch a movie, to make cookies, to play a game, or read a book. I want them to remember having fun with their mom. There will be time for everything else, but we only have today one time. I have to make the most of it. 

New Page! Discount Programs!

I created a new page (see the link to the right) that is all about discount programs I use. This page will be updated as I find discount programs I use and recommend. Enjoy! 

Ecovas Deebot Robot Vacuum- Our experience

Our introduction to Deebot, our new robot vacuum.

This post contains affiliate links. Please see my disclosure policy.

I am one of those people who waits until the next big thing has come out with version 3, 4, or 5 before purchasing one for myself. Long ago the words robot vacuum came to our homes and I became excited. Could it be true; a vacuum that would do the work for me?! As one would expect, it took some time to work out the kinks and even then it wasn't necessarily what everyone thought it would be and so I waited. I waited and waited and waited. I also waited for the price to come down because anyone who knows me, knows I would NEVER spend $400 on a robot vacuum. 

One August morning I logged into my e-mail account to find that Amazon's Gold Box Deal of the Day was, to my pleasant surprise, a brand of robot vacuums. I was elated and skeptical at the same time. Could this be what I was looking for or was it some terrible knock-off that would disappoint me and leave me wanting more? The Ecovas Deebot M80 Pro Robot Vacuum Cleaner (currently unavailable as I write this post, here is one that is available with similar features) was the brand of vacuums on sale.  While I appreciate any item with a 4 star or more review, I do read a variety of the reviews to make sure I was getting a quality item. So with this vacuum, it seemed we were ready to take the plunge. The Ecovas M80 we purchased was on sale for $169.98 (without tax) and was regularly over $300. Thankfully with Amazon Prime it arrived on our doorstep two days later.

I gleefully took it out of the package and immediately assembled it. With a dog and two kids in the house I was hoping it would prevent me from vacuuming once or twice every day. After allowing it to charge for the appropriate amount of time I set it off and I was not disappointed. The canister had to be emptied twice during its first run! The first few weeks I had it we ran Deebot (it's new name) every day. After that, I was able to go down to about once every two or three days. It was perfect for picking up dog hair and the loose dirt and grass the kids bring in from the yard. I don't allow it to go in the two rooms with carpet as there are too many items on which it could get stuck (toys, wires, doll hair). I now only do a deep vacuum once a week! YES, ONCE A WEEK! Here I was vacuuming every day (sometimes twice) and now I could spend more time with my kids, have a conversation with my mom, cook a meal, or have quality time with hubby. 

Deebot LOVES to get stuck on doll hair.

It does come with a wifi connection, but we have not set it up to take advantage of that feature. We have used the mop function though. It is by no means a replacement for a deep clean or if something has spilled. I have used it when a room needs a quick once-over and I haven't gotten the mop out in a day or two. The reservoir is not very big and will hold enough water for one normal sized bedroom. 

All that said, there are some things to be warned about. First, it does have a very random pattern. Deebot doesn't even do just one room at a time, it goes everywhere until it has run out of battery. That being said, it doesn't matter to me how it gets my floors clean as long as there is no dog hair when it is done. 

Pick up furniture.

I get stuck between the legs.

Secondly, it does get stuck between chair legs occasionally. This rocking chair is one of its favorite places to get stuck. After learning this I just put the problem chairs on top of a table or bed before I run Deebot. 

Thirdly, it needs three inches of clearance space to get under furniture. We adjusted the height of our bed frame to give it just that. You can see in the photos it manages to get under the bed just fine. It is the first time in years I don't have to clean under the bed myself and I can't tell you how happy about that I am! 

Lastly, if you don't pick up your charging cords it will get stuck on them. I just push mine behind my night stand and I've placed the lamp cords over a chair or wrapped them around the base. The instructions and reviews will tell you that it gets stuck on carpet tassels. I have runners with 2-3 inch tassels on them and only occasionally does Deebot get stuck on them. 

Overall, I would highly recommend it for those people who can't stand bits of food, dust, animal fur, etc. on their floors and find themselves vacuuming all the time. Out of all our purchases in 2017 this has been my biggest time saver by far! 

OUR WASHER BROKE!

Broken Washer!

*This post contains affiliate links. Please see my disclosure policy.

A few months ago, our washer began making the most awful sound. I don't know if I can even describe it expect that is was loud enough that I was afraid to wash our laundry. Well, it turns out that the suspension rods had worn out. Luckily you can order replacements. So a week later we received our replacement suspension rods and were back up in working order.  I don't know about you, but I hate it when our laundry gets backed up. I'm the one person in our family who takes care of washing, drying, and folding our laundry regularly. So what was I to do when the washing machine is broken and I have an affinity for anything done the old way? Well, wash the laundry by hand of course! 

Unfortunately, I don't have a washboard and all my wooden buckets have a hole in them (sarcasm). It was summer and I didn't feel like starting a fire to heat the cauldron. The next best thing I had wash my bathtub and hands. I was able to use the lye soap I made last year to get the clothes squeaky clean. 

In case you need a tutorial, here you go:

Fill the tub with warm/warm-hot water. You can add laundry detergent at this time. Separate clothes into light and dark piles while the tub fills with water. Toss one of the piles in hot water bath. If you have clothes with stains use some soap or stain remover and work it into the stains to get them out. 

Now for the hard part, get out your guns and use your hands and arms like the agitator of your washing machine. This is extra terrible if is hot outside and you are like me and keep the thermostat at 80 degrees in the summer.  When your arms are burning and you are sweating like a hog, you're time to rinse out your clothes. 

Oh yes! You have more to do! Now, drain your tub and while you are doing that take your clothes, one by one and rinse them out. Once they are all rinsed out and soaking wet, ring them out. You can do this by twisting or squishing them. Don't believe for a second that your clothes will be anywhere close to dry. 

You'll have to put them in the dryer or out on the line. In my own opinion it is quicker to toss your clothes in the dryer although I did not try putting them outside. I did however, put my clothes in the dryer with about 6 dryer balls. I purchased these from Amazon, Wool Dryer Balls by Smart Sheep. They definitely help speed up the drying process. I actually use these with every dryer load and it cuts the time down significantly. 

After about 6 loads of laundry by hand you'll have tired arms and clean clothes. If you are lucky the suspension rods will arrive the day after you catch up on the laundry. Have fun!

Swing set replacement canopy DIY

DIY REPLACEMENT CANOPY!
*This post contains affiliate links. Please see my disclosure policy.

A year or two ago we purchased one of those swing sets that include monkey bars, slide, rock wall, and ladder. You probably know the kind (or have one). You also probably know that the canopy wears out after a few years or seasons in the sun, rain, and if you live up north, the snow.

I am a DIY person when it is possible and when it makes economic sense to do so. In this case, I was not about to spend one hundred+ dollars on a new canopy from the website or store. So I ran off to my second favorite store (number one being Amazon) with coupons in hand to find new fabric. 

I knew I'd need some sort of outdoor fabric and being May I knew Joann Fabrics would be well stocked. I found a colorful blue and red flowered fabric that I would like to look at. I knew the kids really didn't care and they weren't helping me so it wasn't up to them. 

This outdoor fabric was one of the thicker options. I didn't want it to wear out too quickly. I would compare this to a duck cloth but with more of an artificial feel.

This fabric came in a normal sized bolt which I figured would be wide enough to cover the area I needed if I hemmed it 2 inches on each side. I measured to make sure I had enough to cover the length of the canopy while accounting for the peak. I believe in our case, I purchased 4 yards and that was more than enough. I had originally thought I'd cut the fabric to the width I needed and then hem pieces together to get the length, however once I got the fabric home I knew hemming the edges would be easier. 

I didn't bother washing the fabric because I knew it was just going outside, but I did spray it with Rustoleum Never Wet to give it a bit of protection against the weather. It is probably recommended to wash the material first before spraying with Rustoleum Never Wet, but I'm inpatient. This product is VERY smelly. Make sure you do it outside in a well ventilated area. 

Next, I hemmed each length of the material. For this part I folded each end over one inch and then ironed it. I don't tend to measure or pin anything when I'm doing a big project like this as I don't need it to be perfect. After folding and ironing, I folded each side over again and ironed again. During the second ironing, make sure your fabric is stiff and has a good crease. This will help if you are like me and don't pin your fabric. If you can, put your iron on as high as it will go.
 If you are looking for a new iron, I highly recommend this one, Rowenta DW8080 Pro Master. I've owned several irons since I began ironing my own things and this one is by far the most powerful! I used to buy light irons and they did the job, but not compared to this. The Rowenta is much heavier than other irons I've had but I don't have to do near the amount of work to get a crisp, wrinkle free shirt or pair of pants. In fact, when I iron my hubby's shirts, I can get away with only ironing one side if they haven't been rolled into a ball after the dryer. It has several heat settings for different fabrics as well as a steam setting. You don't have to use distilled water either!

Anyway, back to making canopies. Here is what the canopy looked like ironed and hemmed.

I didn't worry about ironing the hem out of the middle because honestly I didn't care and it was just going outside. Our home is not on the Parade of Homes.

Once I got the fabric outside and I climbed onto the platform of the swing set, it was time to figure out how to attach it to the frame. I could have stapled it into the wood, but I was concerned that they wouldn't hold if there were high winds. I didn't want my fabric to rip so I decided to place grommets into the corners and then tie them to the frame.

I found this Grommet Tool Kit. The one in the photo is similar to the one in the link. I've purchased the one in the link for this and other projects. Pretty much any grommet kit you buy has the same parts and instructions. I used 1/2 inch grommets for this project. For starters, I put on grommet in each corner of the canopy.




To attach the grommet you first have to punch a hole in your fabric. If anyone has an idea on how to do with without putting a hole into cement or your deck let me know. The kit in the link comes with a little piece of wood that you can hammer into which is very helpful. Otherwise you end up with dents and little holes in your platform or cement patio.

Take the hole punch part and place it with the wood under the fabric. Use your hammer and give a good whack (or two or three) on the hole punch until you get a clean hole out of your fabric. You want one clean hole and one bigger or your grommet won't hold to the fabric.

You then take the base of grommet kit and put the bottom part of a grommet on top. Put your hole on top of the bottom piece of the grommet. There should be a piece that fits into the hole. Then take the top piece of the grommet which looks like a ring.

Put the top attachment piece (you can see it in the above photos) on top of the sandwich you've created. Now, take your hammer and give about three good hits. The piece that was sticking out of the bottom grommet should have squished down and is now holding the top ring in place.

I did these for all four corners of the canopy. I could have attached it to the top of the platform as it was but I had a lot of fabric left over and couldn't find a good spot to tie on the four corners. If you find that you measured your fabric correctly and your can tie each corner and the canopy fits snugly, then you can stop here. In my case, I decided to add four more grommets about 8 inches from the original and then fold the fabric over the frame and bring the grommets together and tie them.

If you decide to use any sort of synthetic rope, make sure you melt the ends so they don't fray. It is a bonus if you have a solid fire source and the wind stays away. I was fortunate enough to have an extra windy day hence the pile of matches in the background of the above photo.

Here is how I attached each side to the platform. I came to find out that no design in perfect. In this case, the part on the bottom collected water every time it rained and the fabric could have stretched out, but I just dumped the water quickly and this was not a problem. This year I may shorten the canopy so I don't have any fold over.

Here is the finished product! Overall, I'm very happy with how it turned out. The width was perfect (even without measuring) and even though the length was too long, it wasn't something that couldn't be fixed. It definitely helped keep the sun off the kids while they played and it was a lot more pretty to look at than the multi-colored rainbow ones or generic ones that are offered. I also made it for a fraction of the price.

Potty Training

The day my oldest (R) asked to sit on the potty, I was overjoyed! "YAY, no more diapers!" I hastily thought. Little did I know what I was really getting myself into. He had just turned two and I had heard from all my family, friends, neighbors, and experts not to expect him to train until at least 3, because "boys train later than girls". So, in my joy I broke out the underwear and decided to try the "3 day potty training method" I had read about.  After 3 days of cleaning up potty from the floor, couch, and rugs we were no closer to training than on day one. On the 4th day, when he began to refuse diapers, I rolled up all the rugs in our house and moved them to the basement. I spent the next several months setting alarms, watching for signs, and cleaning up poop and potty off the floor, chairs, and whatever else it landed on.

If you don't gain anything else from this post, please read and understand this-
POTTY TRAINING DOES NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT. IT IS A PROCESS THAT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME. YOU WILL TAKE 3 STEPS FORWARD AND 2 STEPS BACK. IN THE END YOUR CHILD WILL GET THERE, BUT IT TAKES CONSISTENCY, HARD WORK, AND DEDICATION.

I'm not sure if I've met a parent who loves to change diapers. Everything about them is a hassle- the diapers, the wipes, the mess, the rash, the paste, the cost, locating a changing table! Don't get me started on all the places that DON'T have a changing table of some sort! I don't believe that parents are necessarily excited about potty training, which is sometimes a bigger mess than changing a diaper, but the idea of not cleaning up your child's poop is motivating enough for most to give it a try. Then again, one does not simply start potty training, and if you do I hope it went smoothly. I find the most effective way to potty train your child is to start with research and a plan. I started with the first and our experience did not begin smoothly. From our trials and errors I have come up with some suggestions that may work for you.

The following are a few tips to get you and your child started potty training.

1.) Start early. There is no hard and fast rule as to when you should start potty training your child. Many people will suggest that boys will train later than girls, but there are always exceptions to the rule (my son began training when he turned 2 and was in underwear all day within 3 months).  When I say start early I mean start with little things you can talk about early.  When you use the bathroom, let your child watch and make a big deal about it. "Mommy (or daddy) goes potty in the toilet. I LOVE going potty in the toilet." Yes, I know it may not be that big of a deal to you, but if you are excited about it, your child is more likely to take an interest eventually. 

2.) Make it fun!

3.) Set a timer (for you AND your child). A friend of mine has a timer on her phone that quacks when it is time to use the potty. When her son hears it, he knows what it is time to do. 

4.) Rewards do not have to be food related (stickers on a poster board, a special activity, or get some small items from the dollar store). 

5.) Be consistent.

6.) Don't expect it to happen overnight.

7.) You might have setbacks.

8.) Make sure you have the appropriate supplies.

Our method

When our son turned 2 we had already been talking about using the potty. We would mention "big boys go potty on the toilet".  When he would fuss about getting his diaper changed I would tell him "You don't have to wear a diaper if you go potty in the toilet." We read some potty books and pointed out "when you use the potty, you can flush the handle".
About a week after his 2nd birthday he said potty and grabbed his diaper. Upon inspection, I noticed there was no potty and thus began our potty training adventure.
First of all, we had a plan.
-Allow R to wear underwear all morning until nap time at noon. This would allow for several hours and attempts at using the toilet.
-Tell him every 30-45 minutes "It's potty time!" and sing "going to the potty" on the way to the bathroom.
-Allow him to sit on the toilet for 1-3 minutes while I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
-Give him lots of water and juice (we don't normally drink juice at all)
-At nap time and night time wear a diaper.

Supplies
You don't have to have all these supplies, but they may make transitioning easier.
-Potty seat for the big toilet or a small seat that sits on the floor
-Step stool for using the big potty and/or hand washing
-Underwear (you may have more luck if your child helps to pick these out as it adds to the excitement).
-Sweatpants or athletic pants with no buttons or zippers. This makes them easier to get up and down.

Updates:
Just before our daughter (A) turned 2 she wanted to try sitting on the toilet. She told us she did not want to wear a diaper anymore and wanting to be like her brother, was determined to figure out the potty thing. Trying to repeat our method with R, I would take her to the potty every 30-45 minutes and encourage her to go. This did not work for her- the child has a bladder of steel.  It took 2 days of accidents on the floor before she finally went in the toilet. After that there was no turning back for her. We did have 2 accidents in stores, but that was about it. After a few months (really only about 3) I noticed she was no longer wet at night. We took off the diapers at night and never went back. She was fully potty trained right after 2 years old.

Please note, child A was a completely different method than child R. A wanted to be like her brother; she was ready to be potty trained and had no desire to be left behind. I'm not saying we should have waited for R to be ready or could have pushed A earlier. I am saying you need to know your child. What works for one may not work for another. Be flexible. 

Getting your baby to sleep! (And getting sleep yourself)

My kid won't sleep! I hear it over and over again from so many parents (new and experienced). I'm here to tell you there is not one sleep solution that will solve everyone's problem. However, there are some things you can do to help your family (because yes, sleep effects everyone in your family) through sleep issues.

We have 2 children (R: our 3 year old and A: our 1 year old). We have gone through our share of sleep regressions, teething issues, nightmares, and any other thing that will keep a child from going to sleep or wake them up at night. First I'm going to share a few tips for establishing a good night time routine and picking out a sleep method that will work for you. Then I will share one method for getting your child back to sleep when they have woken up. (Later on I describe our routine and what book I recommend for getting your child back to sleep.)

Tips for establishing a routine
1.) Discuss what tasks are important when establishing a bedtime. Will you read to your child every night? Do you like to sing? Is bath time used for cleaning or play? Do your children take a bath every night? Who will put the kids to sleep (it doesn't have to be the same person every night)? Do you or your child get to pick out their pajamas?  Does it bother you when your child cries for long periods of time? What is your end goal (shorter bedtime routine, getting your child to put them self to sleep, getting your child to stay in bed, stopping night time feedings)?

2.) Establish some sort of bedtime routine.  Articles I've read from various authors suggest that kids thrive on routine. I've found the same to be true in my own home. By doing the same routine every night your children know what to expect and will experience less stress when it comes to going to sleep.  An example might be: Taking a bath after dinner, brushing teeth, getting into pajamas, reading 2 books, turning off the light and singing a brief song.

3.) Create a calm space in your child's room. Leaving out toys, having bright lights on, playing loud music are all indications that it is time to be awake and play.  Keeping a bedroom or nursery clean and quiet, with soft lighting (use a small table lamp) will help indicate it is time for sleep and not play. Kids can still have toys in their room but when it comes to bed time, I recommend all toys are put out of sight if possible. Dim the lights or use a table lamp, and use quiet voices.  These things will signal to your child that it is time for sleep.

4.) Begin your routine ASAP! I cannot stress this enough. Begin your routine when you bring baby home from the hospital. We didn't do this with R, but did with A (we used the same routine we had eventually established with R) and we noticed a HUGE difference in sleep habits from the beginning!

5.) Give yourself and your children time to get used to a new routine. This is a hugely important piece of sleep training or getting your kid to sleep. Please see point #2. Kids do better with a routine. If you change the sleep routine every 2 days, 5 days, weekly, or monthly they are not going to know what to expect and will then not know what routine they are to follow. When you figure out your routine, give yourself at least a full 7 days to establish the new sleep system. The more days in a row you do your bedtime routine, the more used to it your kids will be, and the more smoothly bedtime will become.

6.) Any change in your child's routine at home or school (teething, sickness, travel, visitors, new surroundings at school, new teachers, new diet) can have an affect on your child's sleep habits and behavior. Even though they might not be in a "sleep regression" one of the above mentioned things or something else may be what is hindering their sleep. Allow your child time to get back to normal after a change.

During our first sleep regression, with our first child, we tried to let him cry it out (aka the Ferber method).  This did not work for us mostly because I could not deal with R crying his lungs out for any substantial amount of time. So when hubby and I sat down to discuss it, we figured out our own crazy method which involved a regular bedtime routine (outlined later in this post), rocking R to sleep in the rocker, slowly standing up while still rocking, and gently continuing the rocking in my arms while I gradually lowered him into the crib. Once in the crib, I would inch my arms out from under him and hold my breath hoping that he would stay asleep. If I managed this 20-30 minute process I could tip-toe out the door and spend another 5 minutes shutting the door so that he wouldn't hear the handle click. (And this was just the time spent putting him in the crib, not the rest of the bed time routine!) Let me tell you, a few months of this and another sleep regression later and I quickly came to the conclusion that this method was not going to work.

Our Routine:
You will notice in the following routine, I do not attach times to any activity. This is because it is a routine, not a schedule. A routine follows a series of events done in any amount of time while a schedule has a given amount of time allotted for each activity and each activity begins and ends at a specified time.  We begin our routine sometime around 6pm every evening, that being said, sometimes we have things come up, dinner runs late, we are out somewhere so then we begin later. Both children know that the routine begins after dinner ends so it is not highly dependent on a starting time. We try to stay within 30 minutes of 6pm so there is some consistency.

At 6:00pm or so we begin bath time. Baths can be long or short but are normally around 15 minutes, we practice spelling, and discuss colors, and let them play. After bath each child is wrapped in a towel and brought to the bedroom. Each child picks out their pajamas and we assist in getting them on if needed. Next, everyone brushes their teeth and we double check the work to get any missed spots. Each child gets to pick out a book and we sit on the floor and read. While the reading is going on the other parent warms up the children's bed buddies (a giraffe and owl that have rice in them and get warmed up for 90 seconds). After the books are read, we go potty one more time and then get into bed. (I still nurse A for a few minutes at some point, normally during books.) R gets into bed at this point and hubby or I hold A. We turn off the lights and then read (from memory) "Guess How Much I Love You". One adult says their good night to each child (same wording every night "I love you, good night") and then exits the room. The adult with the kids sings a brief song. A gets put into her crib with a kiss, and I say "I love you. I'll see you in the morning when you wake up." I say the same thing to R and kiss him good night. I walk out the door. I normally walk out of the door no later than 7:05 pm, but my goal is 7pm. Neither child is ever asleep when I leave, but they have both learned to fall asleep on their own (to find out how to get your child to fall asleep on their own, keep reading).

Getting your child to stay asleep when they wake up
*I'm not saying that the methods presented here will work for every family or child. Please do your research and find a safe sleep method that will work for your and your family. Remember, children need love, support, and comfort from their caregiver. While raising our children it is important to lovingly teach them how to do things, sleep should not be excluded from the list.

Getting your child to put themselves back to sleep is the other reason parents are loosing sleep (#1 being getting them to go to bed in the first place). You finally get your child to bed, you clean up the kitchen, and have a glass of wine. Maybe you get to do some laundry and get yourself ready the following day, and then you climb into bed. Just as you close your eyes and drift off your child starts crying. Immediately you jump out of bed to rescue them from whatever is haunting them.

When a child wakes up it could be for a number of reasons: teething, night terrors, they want to play, they are sick, hungry, they want to nurse, as well as any other make believe issues. If you child weighs more than 15 lbs and/or is older than 3 months old, most doctors and research will tell you they have the ability to sleep through the night.  We have to help our kids to learn everything from the time they are born. We teach them to crawl, talk, walk, eat with a spoon, play, so why should getting back to sleep be any different? We have to help them learn how to put themselves back to sleep. Once again, there are several methods. Google "sleep training methods" and you will see the numerous books, articles, and videos you can watch. I've tried nursing back to sleep (which does work, but your child can and may get dependent on this method), rocking to sleep, singing to sleep, letting R cry himself back to sleep. Yes, I tried all these things and nothing stuck until I read the book "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems."

For children under approximately 2 years old (older than 2 described after this)
Tracy Hogg also suggests picking one method and sticking to it.  R started sleeping through the night at 4 months old.  At 10 months old I had dealt with a few sleep regressions already, and gotten through them, but rocking my boy to sleep every night when he woke up wasn't working for us any more. I also knew that allowing him to cry it out wasn't a method I could get used to. There were 2 things Tracy Hogg suggested. First, was allowing your child to fuss or cry for 2-5 minutes. This allotted time should not be given if the child is wailing in pain or agony. The other thing she suggets is the "Pick Up, Put Down" method described in her book (for children under 4 months the "Shhh, pat" method should be used).

We decided to begin the method on a Friday when hubby could help the following day. Yes, it took 4 full nights for us to notice a difference. I kept track of the number of times I picked him up and put him back down the first night (it was well over 100). The second night is was a few less and the third night a few less. By the 4th night it was noticeably less (I was in bed by a reasonable time).  We stuck to this method and R got used to it. So much so that he started sleeping through the night and when he did wake up, I let him fuss for 2-4 minutes and he could put himself back to sleep or at least stay in his crib quietly until he fell asleep again. When he regressed again around 14 months we used the method again and it only took 2 days to get back to sleeping through the night.

When A was born, she began sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. Part of this was because I let her fuss 2-4 minutes before picking her up to soothe her. Sometimes that 2-4 minutes was all she needed to get comfortable again. At 4 months when she regressed for the first time, I used the "pick up, put down method" (as well as letting her fuss), within 3 days she was sleeping though the night again. To our luck, she is now 14 months old and has not had a sleep regression since 4 months old!

The "pick up, put down" method can work as long as you are comfortable picking up your child multiple times a night. Some kids will get to heavy for this, and then I would suggest just laying them back down in their crib and doing the described method. We would lay R back down and then say "good night, I love you. See you in the morning when you wake up" and then I would leave the room and shut the door. If he woke up, I would let him fuss for 2-4 minutes (while guaging the fussing to see if he would just go back to sleep) and then would go in, lay him down, and say my phrase again. Over and over and over until he stopped fussing or put himself to sleep.

For children over 2 years old: How to cope with getting out of bed and "I don't want to go to bed"

Getting out of bed or "Stay with me"
When R was 18 months old, we began putting him in a twin size bed. His sister was coming along in 8 weeks or so and we wanted to give him plenty of time to adjust. One thing we ran into after 3 weeks or so was him getting out of bed in the middle of the night and wanting us to sleep with him (or getting out right after we put him down). We did try speaking into the monitor but we didn't always catch him in time and sometimes it was in the middle of the night and we didn't want to sit up watching him. When he would try to get out of bed or wake up and come find us we began telling him "Good night, I love you, I'll come check on you in 3 minutes". After 3 minutes we would check on him and say "glad to see you're in bed. I'll come check on you in 5 minutes." He would stay in bed and we would check in 5 minutes. Each time increasing the amount of time between visits until he was asleep. As he got older we increase the amount of time between visits starting at 5, 6, 7 minutes. He didn't know what the minutes meant but he did know that we would be coming at some time to check in. After about a week he started falling asleep before we would check on him the first time and when that started happening we stopped saying we would check on him. Even though we had to stay up for a few minutes to check on him, we still were able to get back to sleep much sooner than if we were getting up multiple times all night long. If you decide this method is for you, you do actually have to check up on your child or they will figure out there is no follow through. It is important here to stick to checking up on them and setting the example of following through on what you say you are going to do.

"I don't want to go to bed".
I don't remember when R started telling us he didn't want to go to sleep and didn't want to take a nap. It was shortly after he turned 2 1/2. Since I stay at home with both kids, I take advantage of nap time as well. Sometimes I do laundry or read, but most of the time I count down the minutes until nap time so that I can recharge my batteries and get some much needed sleep. So when R started getting out of bed a half dozen times during nap time I was at my breaking point.

I don't remember if I read it in a mommy blog or heard it from Parenting with Love and Logic (also a wonderful method for child behavior. We highly recommend it and I have not been paid to say so). But this person suggested the following phrase, "You don't have to go to sleep, but you do have to be quiet in your room." I gave R the option of taking a book to bed or his stuffed animal (he took the book). I gave him the option of laying under the covers or on top (he chose under). It took 2 days of this routine and he began staying in his bedroom (in his bed) and given a few minutes of quiet time I have found he always falls asleep. We have also used it for bedtime.

A friend of mine came to visit for a few days. Her daughter had been having issues getting to sleep and as a result my friend had been letting her cry it out until she eventually fell asleep. During a nap time I offered to talk to her crying daughter while she was nursing her newborn. I told her "your mommy is busy nursing your baby sister right now. She can come in when she is done, but for right now can you lay here quietly?" After a nod of the head, I slipped out of the room and by the time my friend was done nursing her oldest daughter had fallen asleep. She used the same wording for bed time "you don't have to go to sleep, but you do have to be quiet in your bed" and we got the same result.

As I said before, not all of these methods will work for everyone. I've run into parents who have said "I've tried everything! Eventually my kid just learned how to sleep at 1.5 years old." That is completely fine for those parents who can put up with sleep issues for that long, but it wasn't in the cards for us and I would imagine most parents would jump at the opportunity to get some sleep if it was possible.

*I have not been paid to write about or endorse "Parenting with Love and Logic" or "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems". Each of these methods had things that worked for our family and I'm happy to share our success story.